The night before the night before...

I'm just sitting around waiting for my last load of laundry so I can be done packing for the resort. My mom sent me this text tonight:
"Happy night before the night before the beginning of your new healthy happy lifestyle! Love you so much!"
It's funny. I've been supremely stressed this week. Nervous about living up to expectations that I feel everyone has for me, regardless of if they really do or not. Leaving your life for two weeks is a big deal. I have a husband, a job, a house, 4 fur babies, friends, etc. But none of those wonderful things will be there if I don't take care of myself and die early from a heart attack or something related to my weight. I realize that I'm really at the point where this is a life or death thing. And it's already negatively affected the life I have. I'm not very active, not very confidant...which are two things I always was in the past. And I desperately want children. My dad made a good point that I'm not giving up anything by going to this resort or by working hard and eating well to lose weight and get healthy. In fact, I'm sacrificing the life I want by not doing this. So, I'm going to stop sacrificing myself and take the life I want and deserve.
My mom's text seemed to put every little thing into perspective. And now, on the night before I leave to drive to the resort, I'm at peace. Excited. Nervous, of course. But mostly very excited.

Chris, I miss you already. But I know that this is exactly what you want me to be doing and I know that this will change both of our lives forever, in a very good way. I love you.